Since July 20th, when my husband had his last day of work, things have been tough. The 2 hardest things to deal with actually do not include money. Unemployment pays so well we can’t get Medicaid with less than a $10,000 deductible. Yet we can’t pay our mortgage or medical bills. So that brings me to one of the hardest things to deal with right now and that is no insurance. Before, when we had insurance, I went to counseling once a week for depression. Now I cannot go so my depression hasn’t gotten out of control. I am having trouble getting through each day without yelling at my husband or breaking down in tears. The only things that get me out of bed each day is my son and scrapbooking.

Well since my son prefers his daddy right now sometimes he doesn’t make me want to get out of bed. I try not to let it bother me that he prefers his daddy but with how wild my emotions are right now I can never predict how I feel from moment to moment and I have gone through most emotions lately. Also there are other medical appointments I used to go to weekly, one was physical therapy that without I am a lot of pain. I have some medication that helps (a little) but I am running out of that too and I can’t get more without visiting a doctor and also paying for the meds.

Okay so what is the second hardest thing? My husband being home all day. Which actually goes along with the other hardest thing. My husband doesn’t always think… about anything other than him and his computer. I often (too often) have to remind him about everything! Which causes a lot of tension especially if he is watching our son for awhile and doesn’t change his diaper and then our son’s diaper leaks. Well we were seeing marriage counseling but now that we have no insurance we can’t go and it seems as if he reverted back to not caring about our marriage. I don’t need another child, I need a husband.

So why am I telling you all this. Well it goes along with my latest layout which I made for a challenge on RAKScraps.

Credits: Star Light, Star Bright by Candace Duffy Jones, Atomic Cupcake

Journaling:
A toddler may not know the words but he can still tell you what he wants simply with gestures and/or through trial and error and lots of tears.

Scrapbooking can save your sanity when you cannot afford counseling. I have been more inspired to design when I have to pull myself away from chocolate and from having a bout of depression!

One of the biggest lessons I have learned these past few months, is that having your husband home all day with you, every day, is not good for your marriage!